One-derland!

I have reached One-derland!

That's weight-loss surgery talk for losing 100#.

One-derland came early for me.  Sooner than most.  I have had such a touchy stomach and still struggle to eat 600 calories a day. When I eat meat, I can only do 1/2 ounce.  So, for all that struggling, I get One-derland!
My surgeon would be happy.  He believes in suffering to achieve your goals.  LOL  A little sadistic he is.

As you can see, once again, I lack "selfie" skills. And my eyes always look closed in these pictures.  I think I am squinting trying to see what I am doing with the camera.
But you get the idea.  It's me, minus 100.  :)

I can't think of anything else to say.   It's been 4 months, 3 weeks since surgery.  I go back to the surgeon in January to check labs.  I need new clothes but can't spend money on something I'll need to replace in a couple of weeks.  In this picture I am wearing mom's shirt and dad's vest.  LOL  They are my teeth, though.  Just wanna be clear on that.

Diana

The Honeymooner

3 months and 3 weeks tomorrow...

I am proud and happy to announce I am now in the honeymoon phase!  
Wooot!  / \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。

It took 3.5 months, to be exact, but I got there!  The main misery seems to be over, someone better be knocking on wood.  No vomiting.  No pain.  ★ℒℴѵℯ★

Down 80#.  Let's take a moment and focus on that, shall we?  
♥✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿♥✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿♥✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿♥✿´¯`*•.¸¸✿♥    

Okay moment is over.  LOL  But seriously, 80#!  I have dropped a 3rd grader, or possibly 4th, can't remember.  Makes it much easier to move I must say.  Going to the Y and working out now.  Most surprising?  I actually like it!  °♥ ˚

Clothes are fun.  Everything I own is too big now.  There are no more smaller sizes to move into.  But it's great to put something on and see it hanging loose.  Broke down and bought 2 shirts to wear for meetings and occasions. Will need to add more soon to the wardrobe.  I am down 3 or 4 sizes.  Into the sizes you can just walk in any store and find.  

Wooot!   / \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。

Which brings us to the new joy in my life.  Shopping!  Boy is Bob worried.  I have no cute pictures to depict "worried" so I am just gonna do this.......((((((hugs for Bob))))))

It is so cool to be able to walk in stores and look at things without pain.  Focus on what you are there for......spending $$$!  LOL  I am trying hard to focus on Christmas and others, but I did end up with 2 new purses this month.  Oops.  ღ˛° 。* °♥ ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。

So life is getting better in major ways.  Happy.  Thanks again for all the support!  It has been stellar!
Helps in ways you will only understand if you have been through something traumatic and life-changing. Okay most of you probably know that feeling.  That explains why you are SO good at it!  * ♥ ˚

Want to leave you with some pictures of my new quilt!  If you are a FB reader you have already seen this.  My cousin Judy Dallinger, along with John and Tim, surprised me with this gorgeous, unbelievable quilt that is a work of art!  She explained that since I can no longer eat the treats and comfort foods, she put them in a comfort quilt for me.  I absolutely love it!  I feel so humbled that she would put all of that thought, time and skill into creating this for me.  Thank you Judy!  

  ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★ℒℴѵℯ★

Nice teeth!

As you can see I am not good with pictures!  This is me, 3 months from surgery, down 70#.  Gotta say I feel MUCH better.  Would I recommend this to others?  No way. You have to be knocking on desperation's door to do this.  I had stumbled halfway through the door, so I think it was right for me.  But if you have any other way to do this, do it that way.  This is not pretty.  It's filled with frustration, pain, vomiting, misery and more frustration.  I look and feel like I've been drug through it.  Choose another way.  That's my advice.

On the positive side, I can walk more every day.  I join a wellness program @ the YMCA in Peru Friday.  The IVCH physical therapists work with you and develop an exercise plan, teach you how to use the machines and what to do in the therapy pool.  All it takes is permission from the doctor and $27/month.  Thank you Jolene for the tip!  I think exercise is the key to keeping the weight off.  It is scary how many people go through all this misery only to regain the weight.  Not happening to me!  No way.

Bob says I'm looking more like myself again.  And Shelby tells me how pretty I am.  LOL  She is so well trained, isn't she?  :)  She took the picture on the bottom and the top is a self portrait, like the kids do!  I only put it on because my teeth look so good.  LOL

Diana  <3

Anyone have legwarmers I can borrow?

Saw the surgeon today for 2 month check-up.

Weight loss 53#

This week I am eating a little easier.  I can actually eat meat now, which feels really good.  Something to chew.  It's hard to describe the feeling of trying to eat something, chewing, and it just doesn't feel right.  Well now it's feeling right.  Almost normal.

Get to stop taking another pill today.  It's the little things I'm telling ya.

Having the swelling gone has made all the difference in the world.  Walking over to grama's house seems so easy now.  A few months ago I could not do it.  I can breathe again!  No shortness of breath.  I can ride 2 hours in the car without swelling up and being miserable.  I can drive without pain.  It's a life changer.

Have a gigantic tub ready for Goodwill.  Probably 3 large garbage bags full with more to follow!  Now that's fun.  I wore a shirt one day and the next day it was too big.  Kinda crazy.  Wearing some jeans I haven't seen in years.  Nightgowns are all falling off me.  

Bob is going to bring up the Rubbermaids of old clothes from the basement.  These date back to the 1980s, some 1970s, so if you see me rocking some weird look that'll be why.  I think I threw away my legwarmers that go with my leotard though.  Dang.

Feeling pretty good overall.  Getting there.

Diana  :)

Top Ten

Top 10 Reasons To Not Have Weight Loss Surgery:
10. It's not easy
9.  Even if you have rarely vomited in your entire life, now you vomit....a little too easily....
8.  It's difficult
7.  No one wants to hear you say how hard it is when the weight drops off so quickly
6.  Once you do it, there is no going back.......no deciding it's not that much fun and stopping
5.  You really miss the satisfaction of just eating
4.  Did I mention it's mentally challenging?
3.  One of the vitamins you must take daily stinks to high heavens and tastes even worse
2.  Wrinkles will show up that weren't there before
1.  IT'S HARD!

Top 10 Reasons To Get Weight Loss Surgery:
10. You lose weight!
9.   You can't change your mind or just stop
8.  You can walk more than a few feet without pain
7.  When you look in the mirror you recognize yourself again
6.  You can move in ways you haven't since 1994
5.  Finally....you're a water drinker
4.  Cooking is a breeze
3.  Dishes are tiny and quicker to wash
2.  Bringing fun back into your life
1.  It's not easy but IT'S WORTH IT!

6 weeks = 47 #
Lots of ups and downs.  Feel good one minute, pain and vomiting the next.  Still in the initial healing phase. The meds are part of the problem.  Once I figure out how to take them without causing problems life will get better.  They say be patient, in another month I will be very happy.
Diana

PS  The mega-gallon Goodwill bin is almost full!  :)

Lucky 22 strikes again!

22 has been my lucky number since 8th grade English class when Jerry Healy sat next to me in the back of the room and he kept trying to hold my hand.  I wouldn't let him, well probably for numerous reasons, but mostly because I had warts on my hands.  So eventually he realized this and started to count them.  Quietly, we were in the middle of English after all.  There were 22!  A unique beginning to a lucky # but I swear it has popped up in my life at the most interesting times since then, and has always been lucky for me.

So today on the 1 month anniversary of my surgery, I have lost 22 pounds!  Seems like a sign of luck and good fortune to me!  Made me happy.

Overall I am doing much better.  Definitely more energetic now that the excess fluid is coming off.  Feel like I have lost more than 22#, so I know we are heading in the right direction.  Stomach is still very choosy and I have to be oh so careful with what I eat (eat being a distance memory here, I am still on pureed/liquid foods). Sometime in the next 2 to 4 weeks I will be chewing actual food again.  Exciting and scary at the same time!  LOL

I have realized something through this process.  I am a chicken!!!!!
Everything I put in my stomach scares me!  I called the pharmacist yesterday because today I get to stop crushing all my medicine.  I was like "Okay, so you're sure I can just start putting them in there whole? Should I do it gradually?  Try one first to see how it goes?"   She thought I was nuts.  She was like "just take the pills."   LOL  Chicken, I tell ya.

So today feels like a good day.  Happy.

Pregnant with triplets

Went to the surgeon today for a checkup.  He said I have abdominal wall edema.  I could have told him that!  Walking around feeling 10 months pregnant with triplets is how I described it.
So my body was clinging to the extra fluids.  He said to slowly start up diuretics today.  
2 hours after taking 1/2 dose I have lost 5 pounds!  LOL  Woohoo!
Finally the scale moves!

Feeling much better.
Everything else is good.
A little more energy every day.
Back to work on Monday.

Diana

Cheeseburgers!

2 weeks and 2 days post op.

I am reminded daily that I underwent major surgery.  This is not something you bounce back quickly from. But each day I see improvement. I feel better, I move better.  Slowly but surely.

I started eating pureed foods this week but I am going slowly.  Applesauce, mashed potatoes, even some chicken.  Each new food scares me.  If it doesn't please my new tiny stomach, there are repercussions!  But surprisingly, so far, only one food has done that.

I have to be very careful not to eat anything that has too much sugar or fat.  I have to limit my amounts to 2 oz of food 3/times daily.  I have to chew everything until it is liquefied.  And I have to eat slowly.  That 2 oz has to last 30 minutes.  If I do all of that, then hopefully I won't have too many repercussions.  Takes practice.

I keep a daily food diary where I write down everything.  I track protein, calories, fat, sodium, sugar, carbs and fiber.  I have to make sure I eat enough protein and fiber, and not so much of the rest.  I track how much water I drink.  Needs to be 64 oz per day.

They say your taste changes after surgery, but so far everything tastes the same to me.  We shall see, may happen yet.  What doesn't change is food cravings.  I dreamed about a cheeseburger several nights!  Really? I would have guessed pizza but no, a cheeseburger.  LOL

Weight.  Well, I would think after 3 weeks of eating like I have, or to be more accurate not eating, I would have lost a little weight.  But no, can't be that easy.  So far my weight has stayed EXACTLY the same.  Not a pound of change.  Yet.  But I can feel the changes.  My neck feels thinner.  My face looks better.  This thing requires patience I'm telling ya.  Patience.  My body is probably clinging to every pound because it thinks I am on a desert starving or something.  Sometimes our bodies are too smart, but I guess if i were on a desert starving I'd be grateful.  LOL

I''ve been going to support group meetings once/month for 9 months now.  I had my first one post-op and it helped immensely.  A great group of people who encourage and support each other, and reassured me I was doing fine.  Made me feel a whole lot better.

So overall, so far so good.  I will be happy for the day I have energy again.  I will be seriously happy for the day the scale says something different.  And I can't wait to start giving clothes to Goodwill. That's gonna be fun!

Thinking of all of you.  Hoping your own struggles are getting easier.  Life is not for the weak.
Diana

"Bumps in the Road" (sung to the tune of "Pants on the Ground" from Idol 2007)

We had some bumps.

Did well for 2 days at home.  Sunday morning I was suddenly unable to swallow even a sliver of ice.  I began vomiting.  Pain became intense because I was also unable to swallow any pain medication.

Called the surgeon and he had me come to the emergency room.  Turns out my stomach and intestines had become very swollen.  They said it happens more than they would like.  The answer was to rest my stomach for 24 hours, get IV fluids to stay hydrated, and then slowly start clear liquids again.  It worked!  By the following night I was drinking and feeling really good and able to come home from the hospital.

The next morning I woke up with some unusual bleeding that really shouldn't have been there.  Since I am on blood thinners, I had to go in and get that checked out.  Really got lucky.  It turned out not to be related to surgery, was an easy fix and I got to come home again. Thought for sure I was headed for readmission #2.

So that was yesterday.  Except for being extremely tired I am doing great!

I am SO happy to be back in my home and in my bed.
I finally FEEL like I am healing as I am supposed to.

I got to stop 4 medications right away after surgery.  Cool.

Thanks for all the support.  Mom has been keeping me updated, and it means so much.

Diana

Made it to the other side of the bridge.....

My cardiologist told  me "You have to cross the bridge to get to the other side."  I love when they philosophize.
So here we are, on the other side!

Surgery went great.  I fretted over whether I would have the robotic or not.  My doctor expressed his preference for robotic surgery at our first group meeting.  But when I scheduled, there were no robotic openings for another month or two.  So I went with the old-fashioned way, and found out an hour prior to surgery I got the robot anyway!  It was available.  The reason this mattered to me was that all of the people I talked to at my support group seemed to do better with the robotic surgery.  The doctor gets a 3D view as opposed to 2D and can visualize better.  I was in surgery 2 1/2 hours, less than I anticipated.  So I think everything went my way.  :)  I had some angels in heaven watching out for me, for sure.

Recovery was kind of a blur but I remember parts.  Especially the constant "Diana keep the sheet on or you will give everyone a show!"  I think I was  hot.  I got a fan,  I remember that.  And I remember a very nice nurse who kept saying I was a sweetheart, so I couldn't have been too bad.  LOL

I spent 2 nights at the hospital.  In a private room.  With very nice nurses and techs.  Everyone treated me so well.  If I had not had back pain from lying on the surgery table I would have had a smooth sail.  The first night was figuring out the back pain.  The nurse thought of muscle relaxants and that did the trick.  Gone by the next day.  I was able to move, walk and get around right away.  No pain at all in the incisional areas.  I have 6 tiny little laparatomy incisions.  Piece of cake.

The day I was going home I had one episode of extreme pain in the stomach.  We kind of figured out I was a little too enthusiastic with the breathing apparatus they give you to expand your lungs.  I was trying to be the perfect patient and must have gotten air into my stomach.  Once I burped about 100 times that went away, but was misery for about 1 1/2 hours.

And now I am back home, where I belong.  Sleeping in my own comfy bed, thank you Lord.  Managing my own blood sugars and insulin.  Happy.  Looking forward to the future and all the changes coming.  Bob, Shelby and Grama were the perfect support team.  I also got support from many people via texts and messages.  The night nurses I work with sent a gorgeous bouquet of flowers; a show stopper.  Unexpected, and so very nice.  My cousin Kay stopped up to visit me and brought a dozen beautiful red roses.  Shelby, Emma and Andrew (my other 2 children by another mother and father) came and brought a gorgeous orange flower, my favorite color.  Was so nice to have the bright spots to look at in my room.  Thank you all.  And my boss and a coworker who's had the same procedure came to visit.  Got some phone calls from others.  I felt truly supported in every way.  And I can't forget Dena, who had the most important job of all.  She called me to wake me up to watch Big Brother last night.  Thanks Dena!  :)

So thanks everyone.  It took a village to get me through this one!  LOL  And I appreciate every one of you townspeople.

And we're off!

Leaving for the hospital in 20.  I feel calm and excited.  Happy.  Hungry.  Thirsty.  LOL  But mostly calm.  Cross your fingers and toes!

Bravery

I feel like this is the bravest thing I've ever done.

There are the risks of surgery and things that can go wrong.  There are a million complications that can happen after surgery, including kidney and gallstones.

No one has forced me to do this.  This is a choice.  It takes guts.  (pun intended)  And bravery.

No one can guarantee this is the right decision.  I may end up in worse shape.
But when the pros and cons are weighed, surgery wins.
Still takes bravery.

More than childbirth.  (the outcome was fairly certain, and I knew she'd be adorable)  More than getting married. (okay he was cute, but I had to put a dress on and walk down the aisle)  More than my first delivery as a nurse on my own.  This tops them all.

Diana

On a side note, it's a sad sad day when the only thing I get to eat is my chewable vitamins.
I truly enjoyed them.  LOL

And so it begins.............

Today I start prepping for the surgery.  Only clear liquids from now on.  The next time I will actually eat food  (and that will be pureed) will be August 11th, not that I am counting!  (yes I am).  I used to work with a doctor who fasted several days every month for religious reasons, and I keep thinking about him.  It would have been great training for this.  The hardest part so far is just remembering not to eat!  And yes, I know, it's only 9 am on day one.  Sad.  :)

Mom and I are going shopping this afternoon.  Shopping always includes lunch.  I looked at her and said "Uh oh, no lunch for us."  Mom came up with Plan B:  lunch at Denny's.  Food for her, chicken broth from their chicken noodle soup for me.  Rearranging my mental attitude about food is going to be the biggest hurdle in this.  My new mantra:  Eat to nourish.  Mantra #2 (I need extras):  It's JUST food!

Today I start protein drinks three times daily to build me up for surgery.  Also start injections twice daily to prevent blood clots during and after surgery.  I have been taking extra vitamins and calcium for a month.  This is a well-thought-out process and I get to reap the benefits of all of their years of experience at the Weight Loss Center in Peoria.

Surgery is at St Francis, and I feel at home there after roaming their halls for a few decades.  It will be laparoscopic surgery, meaning several tiny incisions instead of one big one, and a faster and easier recovery.  I will probably only be at the hospital 2 days post-op and off work for 2 weeks. My procedure is called Roux-en-y or Gastric Bypass surgery.  There are 4 types of surgery, but this is the one they recommend to diabetic patients because it has been shown to help.  This is one of the most exciting aspects to this surgery.  I don't expect to be cured of my diabetes, like most Type 2 diabetics are.  They get to stop all medications and insulin immediately after surgery.  The cure is not in the weight loss per se, but in the lack of secretion of a hormone from the small intestine that suppresses the pancreas because that part of the small intestine is bypassed.  With the hormone out of the picture, the pancreas is able to function more normally again.  In my case, as a Type 1 diabetic, I am hoping for increased performance of my insulin (resistance to insulin increases with weight) and needing much less insulin due to the drastic decrease in carbohydrate intake.  But I would take a cure too, if by some miracle it is bestowed upon me.  Wouldn't that be sweet?

I told myself to keep these short, but it's so cathartic!  I feel so calm afterwards.
Diana

Normal is overrated

Welcome to my journey through the crazy world of weight loss surgery.  This adventure began about 10 years ago when my doctor said "Have you ever thought about doing weight loss surgery?"
And my reply was "Are you crazy?  Why would I ask someone to cut up my perfectly normal GI system?"

Fast forward to last fall, when my new liver specialist said "You need weight loss surgery.  I will drive you there myself, that's how badly you need to do this."  And my thoughts were "Is he crazy?  Why would I cut up a perfectly normal GI system that is functioning?"

Despite my fears, I began the process.  He wasn't really giving me a lot of choice if I wanted to keep my liver functioning in a normal way.  So I began working my way through the long checklist of requirements: paperwork, classes, doctor's appointments, bod pod, psych evaluation, more classes, support group meetings, monthly weigh ins, and learning a lot more about the whole thing.

Finally comes the first visit with the surgeon and he asks me how I am feeling about everything.  My answer?  You guessed it!  I said "Am I crazy?  I feel like it's crazy to take one of the few systems in my body that is actually working well and rearrange it."  He paused, gave me a deadpan expression, and said "Well obviously it's working too well."  LOL  Couldn't argue with that!

And thus, the journey truly began at that moment.  I have gone from terror to excitement and everything in between.  I have taken out my suitcase, packed away the guilt I felt for not being able to do this the old-fashioned way, and embraced what is to be my new life.

I am inviting you along for the ride.  I debated whether to keep it all private, but decided this would be therapeutic for me.  I think it will help me adjust to the many changes about to happen.  If it gets too boring, just fast forward to the pictures that will surely be coming.

Surgery is July 31st!

Diana